i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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