no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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