I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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