That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
