He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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