you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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