I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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