i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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