I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
