he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
