why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
