You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
