I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it was like eating out sand paper
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
