how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
