he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
