ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
