My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
