I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
