Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dick very happy bro
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
