Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
