There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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