i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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