just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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