If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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