Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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