I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
home. puking in laundry basket.
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every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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