I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
