I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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