who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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