No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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