Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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