i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize