I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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