"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize