Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I want her autograph on my taint
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
