video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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