she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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