I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
