Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
