i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
