Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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