laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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