The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
