omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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