He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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