Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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