We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
