everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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