I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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