we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
