There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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