if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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