I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
