This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
