is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
