just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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