where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i permit you to call me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We have so much sex to catch up on
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
