Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
