but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
