I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I am available for nakedness
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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