I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
