who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
