yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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