We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
