I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
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That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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