i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
